The duality of this physical existence continues to inflict me with its distortion. It's been four weeks since I started working full-time (Content Producer for TV magazine show, Zwahashu, on SABC2) and I feel blessed and cursed at the same time. The comfort of a regular job provides me with room for breath that I have not had in over a year but that space has yet to settle so I continue to struggle with the consequences of my freelance lifestyle. Technology is crumbling around me and I am not in a position to sort it out, at present, and with the second burglary of my home, the lack of resource feels even more pronounced. But, I am optimistic. I am still in the part of the job where everything is new and challenging and, therefore, exciting. Also, it's really cool to have short-term milestones to accomplish. Working on long term goals can be a loveless experience without clear definitions of success and accomplishment. Working on poetry endeavours that may only bear fruit in the next 2 to 5 years leaves the soul drained. How does one determine whether they are moving in the right direction or not?
Talking about poetry, there is progress. Firstly, knowing that I can do it when I want to, on my terms has relieved me of the pressure of achieving. I can be poetic whenever I feel like it, and when I'm not interested, I can forget about it. Secondly, I can approach it with a relatively clear mind. It is easier to figure out exactly what I want to do and when.
Started working on my next collection for possible publication mid to late next year. Thinking of publishing poems solely from my Imperfect Poetry blog (http://imperfectpoetry.blogspot.com). While it is getting harder to post every day, I am building a decent collection of scribblings and hope that at least some deserve some extra work and re-writing. Any thoughts on how viable that is as an idea? Actually, anyone know how I could interest MTV Books in publishing some of my work? For some reason, they are a publishing house I've always thought might take a risk on my writings (we can all dream).
Anyway, beyond that, the calls for gigs are starting to come in and, for once, I actually have a plan to increase this. Also working on actually getting gigs confirmed. Have had a few, including a gig in New York, that were cancelled. In the next few weeks, I should actually have at least 5 confirmed over the next month. It's invigorating to be provided with new spaces to share my words (and the remuneration doesn't hurt either).
Well, that's it for me. Finally posted. This space has become very directionless. Not quite sure what to do with it so I guess it is becoming a bit of a personal journal. Aluta continua. Easy