Thursday, October 13, 2005

something to calm the madness?

Why does one actually 'create' a Blog? What inbred desire is it that drives one to put thoughts, feelings, their lives out there for millions to see? I still search for that answer in the same way that I question why I get on stages and share parts of soul to total strangers ... why I scribble on blank pages and do everything in my power to ensure that my words are heard.. I am plagued by these thoughts daily, but while I cannot define this desire, the need to express is still there and so I continue to search for answers in movement. These words may have no meaning to some, but the belief is that someone out there will find relevance. It is a strange space, like being on television or on radio, where the 'audience' is detached physically.

Performance poetry has blossomed, I believe, because of the intimate relationship that is created in bars, clubs, conference halls, outdoor spaces, etc. The space to get energy directly from those listening and feeling.
Finding a way to get that same connection from letters on a page or on a computer screen is harder. But it must be done. Finding commonality between us as human beings is the battle half won. I am optimistic. I am an idealist seeking utopia... it may seem distant, but a worthy cause, in my book. Today, mind in overdrive, words spill, no sense, nonsense, random ramblings leave traces of perfection, sometimes, thinking can be tiresome, i often seek the comfort of the arbitrary....

anger is easy
smouldering souls breathe fire
tongues licking at the flames
throats parched, thirsty
hearts burning
pounding
chasing a cause
any cause

This space, for me, is one where I can - and will - share the words that come to me, in their original form. The perfectionist says the words should be edited ... that is done elsewhere ... here, my honesty resides, with all its flaws.

third eye blurred, in need of spectacles
alien sights ignite soul fires
burn lost souls living white collar realities
and sweat leaves salt residues on forked tongues

we lie to mirrored reflections
and hope that the equivocation of three witches
is justification enough for blindness

our grandfathers never died of stress
they built hills when mountains were impossible
and found peace
they fought not with your education and knowledge
but with the beating of their hearts
and the memories of their fathers and mothers

our grandmothers never blindly opened their legs
to build castles in the sand
they molded family with love
and a strength that came from a bloodline fertilised with hope

your spirit was not carved out of concrete
but from the sands that your ancestors inhaled
the dream is an illusion
wake up and it shall become real
the dream is not a dream
so quit dreaming of dreams about fulfilling dreams
and live

a man once told me that life is what you make it
but failed to define the essence of making it
so we run in circles
and call the end the beginning
when we return to where we begun

city of lost souls is the place we call home
when home is where the heart paints reality in the sand
and identity is who you were as a child

i write words to be heard by my spirit
because i hear clearest when the page reflects my sadness
and turns it into happiness

i am we
an ordinary man
dreaming reality

All I have are words. All I can share with you is these words. Find your meaning. Digest and decide whether these words have relevance.


2 comments:

Catman said...

nicest and very impressive poetry
i invites to visit mine at http://catmangirona.blogspot.com

Corsarius said...

nobody can be perfect, but with poetry like this, imperfection might not be that bad, after all.. ;)

good luck and more power in your quest to find (and write?) the perfect poem, kojo.