Just got home from a gig. If I take myself seriously, is it unreasonable to expect others to do the same? Have I spent the last seven years trying to build a concept, a brand, only to be treated like I am being done a favour? Is it unreasonable to expect to be treated like a professional or does being an 'artist' mean that I automatically exist at the bottom of society's food chain. Is it me? Arriving at a gig and discovering you are not even in the programme and staying to perform; am I the problem? Should I have left? Questions, questions, questions......

I have recently discovered
That I do not exist

A lifetime of laughter
Smothered

An existence extensively laced with experience
Wiped clean

Tears lived
Dried up

Blood running through arteries
Blocked

Why bother when it is a world that does not see me
That defines me

I have become the invisible man
Walking the streets without presence

I am no longer stopped
Restricted
Heard

I think
But I am not

I have become nothing

Free from responsibility
Free from duty
Free from being
Free

Beyond the glass ceiling

After banging my head on the glass ceiling for what seems like forever, I have finally chipped enough of a hole to taste the air above. Dreamers live with the weight of failure on their shoulders - the dreams stopped when achieved or when the soul gets too tired of trying. I am not yet tired but it often seems close; then I have days like today when the smallest thing ignites a flame that has the potential to become a fire.

Following years of procrastination, I finally recorded some poetry for a poetry video concept that I am working on with a friend of mine. Thanks to Kurt & e-poets, I have finally done something and, in doing so, remembered why creativity is such a beautiful thing. Beyond the materialism and the trivial is creativity that feeds the heart and inspires the soul.

The end destination is not to achieve immense wealth, but rather to build enough of a financial base to do the things we love to do. A simple act of recording a poem with a clear purpose in mind re-awakened me to this. We spend so much time trying to deal with day-to-day reality that we often forget what gives us pleasure. It's a beautiful space to be in.

Just wanted to share. The Imperfect Poetry Blog, while hard work, is coming along nicely. I've been able to, so far, maintain the daily posts (some days in the wee hours of the morning) and some of the writings are actually coherent. Would appreciate your constructive thoughts.

Easy. Sleep beckons.

When the words won't come

In my other life, I do business writing for a variety of clients in different industries. Right now, I have my hands full with work for TV production houses, which is nice, coz having been dormant for the last few months, I finally have work to do.

But the words won't come.....

Creative writer's block is easier to deal with. This is frustrating because I have deadines and invoices to submit. The irony is that, creatively, the mental pistons are beginning to pump. Now if I could get everything to function efficiently and effectively at the same time, I could build visions by merely breathing. I keep remembering the phrase "if it was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be called 'life'". Little consolation at the start of another long weekend.

Anyway, I will battle my way through it, like everything else. In the mean time, if you are in Joburg this weekend, come through to Xarra Books in Newtown for a Poetry Dialogue with the Italian Publishing house, Avagliano Publishing. They are looking to publish an anthology of young South African poets, to be translated in Italian.

The book will be accompanied by a DVD of the gathering tomorrow, which will include an informal poetry session.

It is great to see the interest in our poetry building beyond South African borders. Getting tired of being limited to our space and want to now grow into a global artists - hence this Blog and the Imperfect Poetry Blog which has started off well enough, I hope.

Come through if you around this space. Enjoy your weekend. Easy runnings.

instant poetry

Like thousands of writers in a bid to improve the words we put on blank pages, and to awaken the muse, I am building a little library of poetry and writing related books. My new 'toy' is a. Penguin Rhyming Dictionary I picked up today to replace the one that sprouted feet, jumped off my shelf and strolled out my house.

Anyway, this mini-collection includes a lovely book called A Writer's Book of Days by Judy Reeves, which has quotes and tips on writing, with the primary one being around writing practice. It is recommended that a writer must set an appointment with him/herself every day and just write. To facilitate this process, the book has a 'topic' for every day of the year as inspiration.

I have, over the last few years, tried to maintain this habit, to varying levels of success. I have a poetry journal that I write in whenever I get the chance, which is not as often as I'd like. To improve on this, I have often tapped a few lines into my phone just before I switch off the bedside lamp. Well, now that I've had my mind opened to the capacity to post by email, I've been toying with how to take advantage of this, in the hope that it will have some relevance.

I have created a new blog, Imperfect Poetry (http://imperfectpoetry.blogspot.com), on which I will attempt to post my midnight ramblings on a daily basis - starting tomorrow. It will be raw, unedited, at times interesting, often nonesensical and confusing, but also a peak into the stuff that often sits in my notebooks, never to been seen. Would be nice to hear your thoughts / comments on whether I should go with this or not.

Blog currently blank but link already on The Imperfect Poetry, will start posting tomorrow. Easy

the sun rise

This has been a good poetry week for me. The shift in direction is opening up a whole new world of word and I am loving it. Firstly, I have been invited to adjudicate the poetry segment of the Department of Water Affairs & Forestry Baswa Le Meetse Awards. The Awards are for kids of about 10/11 years old who have put together creative expression of clean and healthy living in categories like poetry, theatre, praise singing and fine arts.

Also, yesterday I performed, and was part of the panel with Lebo Mashile, at the launch of a wonderful collection of poetry, An Infinite Longing For Love, by Lisa Combrinck. I was humbled by the beauty of her words and inspired by the passionate discourse that took place. The launch was at Xarra Books, a black-owned bookshop that gives space to so many african authors. We struggle to get African written books in most bookshops & Xarra has come to the rescue. They have a monthly programme of literary-related events so if you want to find out more, email them on info at xarrabooks.com.

Things are getting busier & I will try to keep you updated on events so, if you in the johannesburg area, check them out.

FOTOSAFARI is at the Market Theatre Lab tomorrow (Saturday) night. Using a mixture or poetry, video, slide projections, song and dance, the FOTOSAFARI theater experience breaks from traditional forms of plot and character and paints a picture of cultural fusion. It starts at 7h30pm, costs R30 and features Napo Masheane, Debra Leshika, Makgano Mamabolo, Nomena Struss and Paul Mojalefa. FOTOSAFARI cultural exchange is a collaboration of 120 participants from South Africa and Germany who used photography to capture and share their stories and lifestyle.

Hoping to be there tomorrow night. Was also happening tonight but wasn't able to go. Anyway, let me get to bed. Still loving this email thing. Just realised I do need to go online and clean stuff up.

Thought:

I was born a poet
Speechless, my poetry was in breath, gurgles & laughter

When I cried
The tears sung lullabies
Tracing the innocence of my face

I was born a poet
But am a poet no longer
I am in the infancy of a poetic reality
And one day
I will be a poet once more

Easy

while the world sleeps

Who decided that the world needs to operate from 8am to 5pm? Who decided that there was a system we have to follow to be considered a functional element of society. I love the night, especially after 10pm. The world goes quiet and, at about midnight, one could actually believe they were alone in this world (well, if they ignored the trucks and streetcrawlers outside their window - I live next to a main road).

Sitting here trying to be creative, working on proposals for clients and trying to develop my own concepts. So much to do and I am expected to wake up tomorrow morning. Sleep all day, write all night - that's the way to live. In addition to working on poetry, I am trying my hand at scriptwriting for television, film and theatre. My dream is become the person to call, regardless of what you want written down, from creative to business - new cause.

Oh, and I am looking for pictures. If you have any pictures lying around, please share. Would like pictures which I can use for inspiration to write and include on my blog. So much synergy between the various artforms (Helen does it beautifully on Box of Rain - see my links), and I hope to explore every one in the search for the perfect poem. I have a painting on my wall that a friend (Peter Oellermann) did a while ago, inspired by one of my poems.

So much do
So much of life to get through

The night is the soundtrack
To my dreams
The rhythm I dance to
While I knit words
Soul coming apart at the seams

Why find the answers
When it is the questions
That truly matter

Just words. Just thoughts. This is what happens when the sun slips into the northern hemisphere and the south embraces darkness. Mental masturbation.

Easy

wet & wonderful

It seems to actually work. Don't know whether I should be troubled by my initial ignorance or excited by the discovery (Roy, you the man). I promise this is my last post for today, just thrilled by the powers of technology.

A warm rainy night
It's 1 in the morning
Mind wanders randomly

Today has been a day of discovery. In the more positive half of my schizophrenic self today and the future looks bright-ish. Have a few things in the pipeline that may provide impetus to my search for the perfect poem.

Will share more as things fall into place.

Starting to write again, following a few months of frustration. As I find direction, writing becomes more fun. It's a beautiful space to be in. Working on the craft but will continue to share the words. Hopefully, they grow as I grow.

Alright, let me go sleep. You know I'll probably be posting again tomorrow.

Easy

Experimentation

One of the difficulties of the blogging experience is having time to sit down in front of my PC and actually put down some thoughts. Thoughts that often come to me during the course of the day.

My blogging 'mentor', Roy, just drew my attention to the fact that I can blog from email. I am fortunate enough to have a Blackberry to keep me company, while also forwarding my emails to me, while on the road, this discovery has me excited. I have dealt with the necessary 'setting up' and this is my first attempt at posting sans PC.

Apologies if this does not come out the way it should, or is all twisted. It is all for the sake of progress. This way I can bombard this space endlessly.

Easy
Blog: http://infinitepursuit.blogspot.com
Poetry:
www.artistswithoutfrontiers.com (Writer's Section)
http://othervoicespoetry.org/vol8/baffoe/index.html

apologies

it seems this mail-to thing is duplicating some of my posts. please be patient with me while i figure the whole thing out. have posts on that are not reflected in my 'dashboard' and posts that aren't making it. :-(

Wolf

Alone is not loneliness
Lullabies sung to oneself
Carry the same melody

Words unspoken
Carry the same meaning
Something to break the silence

Chaos begats violence
There is no self
In the rules
And so I break them

This morning I awoke
And heard a lone bird whisper my name
In a conversation with itself

And found myself
Blog: http://infinitepursuit.blogspot.com
Poetry:
www.artistswithoutfrontiers.com (Writer's Section)
http://othervoicespoetry.org/vol8/baffoe/index.html