Usual ramblings

As I fade into the poetic shadows, and drift onto the fringes of poetry, I am less in touch with what is happening on the scene in jozi. In seeking balance between the realities of modern day existence and my passions, I am finding some element of peace and direction. That said, there are still some wonderful things happening on the streets that shall realise the vision many of us see. There also continue to be avenues for successful of one's financial needs with the spiritual needs of poetry.

I love sharing my work, and this week, I shall be allowed the privilege of performing in the same space as the President of South Africa at the Gordon Institute of Business Science - Dialogue With The President Forum. As a business school, they continue to explore the merger of art with the traditional subjects of business.

A few weeks back, I also had the privilege of sitting in on a business discussion forum and I was tasked with both writing a reportback and scribbling some poetry-influenced thoughts on the discussion. Seems to have gone across very nicely.

The balance between passion and reality, for me, lies in finding a way to explore all possible relationships between corporate & creative writing. One day I shall find the perfect balance, but it does feel like I am getting closer. I am a lot more optimistic about the future and feeling less pressured by time.

Anyway, other events taking place in poetry are at Xarra Books in Newtown, which continues to push the written and spoken word in Joburg. Check out their calendar of events at www.xarra.com (I think). Will try get the full calendar for the rest of the month and share.

I will be featured there in June, which should be interesting experience. Busy developing the results of my daily writing sessions which are posted on http://imperfectpoetry.blogspot.com. A lot of the stuff doesn't work, but I do think there are some with some potential. Time will tell.
Blog: http://infinitepursuit.blogspot.com
Poetry:
www.artistswithoutfrontiers.com (Writer's Section)
http://othervoicespoetry.org/vol8/baffoe/index.html

Running in one place

As poets, writers and people of the Word, one of the most exhilirating moments we can achieve is to see our words in print. The publishing of a book, for me, is as much for the writer (if not more) as it is about the desire to share and make one's voice heard. Unless you are writing a best seller or something of high demand, one cannot get rich, or even comfortable off the sales of a book. This is more so with poetry.

I published two collections of poetry as the achievement of a dream, the reaching of a milestone that I spent over 10 years pursuing. I also discovered that the achievement of a dream is not always as it is dreamed. There was an anti-climax that has driven me into a rut I am still attempting crawl out of. The first thing that hit me was 'now what?!'. I have toyed with many an idea looking for that next hit, that next shot that would re-inspire me and still I search.

My next book is a year or two away, so I need something to nourish myself with something else. I still haven't found an answer but I am getting closer and that comes from re-defining myself and re-discovering why it is I write, or at least attempt to write, poetry. This desire to write is a desire beyond merely poetry and the next stage for me is about improvement and evolution as an all-round writer.

It is easier said than done. It means more work, hard work. Writing, like any other career, requires an unwavering devotion to perfection. Devotion to craft. Devotion to experience. Devotion to living life, which serves as the foundation for great writing.

Sometimes it feels like too much. Sometimes it seems fruitless. But, the desire to write is like a drug. I cannot stop.

Hibernation

For those of you who keep up with my Imperfect Poetry blog, you will probably have realised that I have become somewhat disillusioned with this whole poetic existence. Funnily enough, I have still been relatively regular with daily poetry postings but haven't been up to conversation on my Imperfect Poet blog, namely because I haven't known what to say.

So much internal dialogue going on that it is damn near impossible to translate all of that into written word. But here I am, still plodding along. I have spent the last two months systematically withdrawing from the poetry scene here in Johannesburg. I need a break, particularly from the whole 'performance poet' state of mind, and I am taking all the necessary steps to free myself from expectation, both mine and others.

This decision to hibernate has some interesting side effects. My focus all along has been on the overall development of poetry, in addition to my growth as a poet, and I have reached the point where the development work was draining my energy, drawing it away from from my personal growth. As I withdraw, my enthusiasm for the written word increases.

Where all of this is going, I do not know, but all I have is time to figure it out. The moment I stopped stressing about time and my definition of what is success, I started re-discovering why it is I enjoy the written word.

Meanwhile, I am still doing the occassional gig, in addition to all my business writing work. Tomorrow night, I perform at the National School of the Arts, a high school that emphasises the arts. We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, just wanted to reach out and touch. Easy

Love the darkness

Poetry. Spoken Word. Finding space and seeking pragmatic progress in an artform that does not lend itself to illusions of material grandeur. If you seek the comfort of comfortable living then perhaps you should pursue other avenues. My evolution is born of reality and truth. "In Word We Trust" does not answer all the questions, experience is the key.

I have travelled through the phases of poetic life: enthusiasm, excitement, passion, pragmatism, disillusionment, denial, acceptance. I have travelled and now must accept the truth. Poetry as a 'career' is a long and winding road and, at some point, it must be put aside for more realistic endeavours. I shall always write but it cannot be the only thing I do ..... That is a truth and I accept. It is a marathon as opposed to a sprint (as cliched as can be). Today I rest. Tomorrow, perhaps, I shall become a poet once more, but today, I rest.

My comfort is in my notebooks. In these moments I shall bask in the silence and breathe the chaos that exists internally. I shall let the voices dictate what tomorrow holds. I shall no longer attempt to pre-empt them. The beauty of the future is that it is unknown. I lower myself into this pool of mystery and embrace its cool, calm waters.

Trying to get from here to there

Last week has been disastrous. Have become so dependent on my Blackberry to post and, for some reason, my email hasn't been working ... BUT, it's back. Although just posted 3 times to www.imperfectpoetry.blogspot.com, so still a bit shaky.

Anyway, life as a poet has been slow, though my mind has been in overdrive. It's my birthday today (soon to be yesterday for me) and I am doing the whole 're-evaluation of life' thing. Once again, I wonder what it is about The Word that continues to have me turning down opportunities to work in other genres.

It is time to put my poetry development projects on the back-burner and focus on actually making a living. A difficult choice to make but, at some stage, pragmatism has to take over. I do it willingly because it is frustrating blindly pursuing dreams and not enjoying the journey. I have issues with the idea of an artist as society's martyrs in touch with humankind's suffering.

As an artist, I believe we are all entitled to the pleasures and joys of living - emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ...... especially financially. Creativity and innovation, for me, require calm and focus. When hustling to connect ends, there is no time to devote to the requirements of perfection in craft.

I dream of spending months writing, reading, exploring the beauty of the written word. But need to know the bills are paid.

A journey all artists have to take and one I am feeling less and less enthusiastic about. Damn, it is irritating being a dreamer

Been a while

It's been a while since I've posted - that seems to be a regular occurrence. Have been keeping my imperfect poetry going regularly, though finally missed out on a day. It is getting harder to maintain my daily 10minute writing session and haven't had much time to actually develop what I have written into finished pieces. Feel like poetry is drifting away from me. The pursuit of 'life' and its trials has me pursuing reality and questioning the ideal of 'living for my passion'.

Things have been quiet on the poetic front generally. Hibernating from the running around and focusing more on a number of projects to carry it beyond this mini-treadmill. I am feeling stifled by my 'home' environment and would love to break out a bit. The world is big and it is starting to feel like I need to start exploring other parts, ie. Europe, the US and the rest of the African continent. Budget is low so looking for funding opportunities to that regard. Would love to do a tour of the European and American summer art festivals. Time will tell my success at that. Watch this space.

Just venting a little today. Easy runnings.

We speak words

This feels strange. Due to technical difficulties, I am unable to go online and check my blogs which means I am unable to respond to comments, although I do get to read them. Feel detached.

But I can still post.

Last week's been surprisingly poetic. Did national adjudication of poetry category for Department of Water Affairs & Forestry's Baswa Le Meetse Awards for 10, 11 year old kids.

Did two radio interviews last thursday & this morning and the next few days busy with:

1. Press conference for Jozi Literary Festival - tomorrow
2. Gig @ Mzansi Orleans in Norwood, Joburg @ 19:30 - tomorrow night
3. Performance @ Jozi Literary Festival Gala event - Friday night
4. Performance @ Jozi Literary Festival - Saturday afternoon

All of this makes me feel like a real poet. Yeah, I'm easy to please.

If you in Joburg area and interesting in coming out, then drop me an email and I'll send details.

From there, it is a much needed trip home to Lesotho.

Nothing new

Okay, this isn't anything new but:

1. How is the NBA champion the 'world champion'?
2. How is it the 'world series' of baseball?

Basically, why are champions of American leagues always called 'world champions'?

Was watching a documentary on John Wayne who was referred to, by a friend trying to motivate for him getting a medal, as 'America'. Was a big Duke fan growing up and I had most of his movies on video but learned more about his right wing leanings ... He referred to minorities as 'double barrelled Americans' who should be grateful for living in a country that is the best in the world. What did that say about the rest of us? Does the 'world champion' thing not imply that the rest of us are just taking up space?

Just thoughts ...

Soul on Ice

I have been re-reading a book I first read while still in high school - Soul On Ice, by Eldridge Cleaver, former rapist, convict, Muslim, Black Panther Minister of Information, etc.

It is fascinating to be able to read it with a greater awareness of the world around me, having lived and experienced more since my last reading. What scared me about the book is that there are elements that still seem so relevant to the world order we reside in today. At times, it felt like I could substitute places and names from today with those of yesterday.

I am one of those people who believes we are all doing what we should be doing in the spaces that we are supposed to be in - the cliche 'everything happens for a reason' comes to mind. Finished the book this morning and ended up being convinced to go to the movies with a friend of mine. I say convinced because I very rarely step into cinema houses; I prefer to wait for films to come out on DVD and watch them in the bosom of my own home. Everything is cheaper there and I have more control.

Anyway, we ended up watching Syriana which, through pointing the lens at issues such as the power of oil companies, the ruthlessness of multi-national business and government, the world of 'terrorism', etc. At the core of the movie, although a bit disjointed and confusing to follow, I found it delved into some of the causes behind the actions of people controlling the puppet strings, touching on some of the things that Cleaver discusses.

The world today can be a frightening place and, for those of us living outside the US, it sometimes feels like we are being pushed towards a vision that does not incorporate us and we serve merely as collateral damage and the numbers required to push certain things through.

All I know is that if US politics and business operate minutely similar to what is shown in Syriana, then we truly are in trouble.

time

i have been so busy trying to maintain my Imperfect Poetry blog that i haven't had the time to actually post here.  i am glad to say that i have been able to post a poem a day as planned since i started - some go out after midnite, but they do go out.  it does get a bit confusing trying to figure out the purpose of each space and come up with thoughts to share.  i spend so much time bogged down in ideas and good intentions, which often never get past 'head space' and into reality.  it is said that an idea is useless until implemented and i have thousands.  can one ever have too many ideas?  how often do we seek 'visionary thought', assuming that when you are able to see the great possibilities, you will have accomplished something?  i find that i see the possibility but i never seem to get anything done ... there is never enough time, and the time available is usually used 'chasing paper'.  it's a weird catch-22 situation to be in and the day i find peace in the madness is the day i fulfill my wildest dreams.

 

today, on radio, they had people phoning in to talk about the artistic endeavours that they always wanted to pursue but never did because of 'reality'.  there were people in business talking about their dreams to be dancers, actors, etc.  sometimes i wonder whether people ever realise how tough it is to actually follow your passion.  i smsed the statio to say that i wanted to be a powerful owner of a multi-national, forget being arty.  in that situation, i could do anything i want.  i always figure that if i won the lottery, i would be able to finance, produce and distribute books, CDs, etc, all tied to my passion.  that would be fun.  this... this is stress.  stuck in a place where it is your passion that drives while starving you.  one day it will all make sense.

#end