Round Two

So. Life is a series of moments that add up to something .... or nothing - whatever makes you comfortable. I think I've been down so long, it's becoming hard work to stay there. Went home (to Lesotho) this weekend for my sister's wedding.

Note: don't know about elsewhere in the world but in Africa, no matter where you decide to settle, home is always where your people are and where you come from.

While away, my home (in Joburg) was broken into (again). This time the bastards left with my dvd player, playstation, clothes & jewellery, and the stereo I got for my 21st birthday. I have trekked around southern Africa with that stereo & I am definitely going to miss - wherever I went, that stereo was with me. What really pisses me off is that they took my Prince CD (which was in the stereo) and my Pumas (bought in Tokyo by my brother.

Now the security gets bumped up even more. Sat in a meeting this morning with security company & discovered that there are two drug dealers & two brothels in my complex. Aah, don't you just love Joburg suburbs?

But I still love this city - and I hate this city. Crazy thing.

Just venting, but still feeling poetic. Really starting to feel like a poet - tho it probably doesn't seem like it on the Imperfect Poetry.

Damn, running out of words.

Poetically Inclined

Another week crawls slowly to an end and I am a bit more enthusiastic about existence. Last Saturday I performed at Xarra Books and it was wonderful. The audience was gentle and open, and the Q & A brought up some interesting discussion. For once it went beyond 'what inspires you?' which is, sadly, the stereotypical question media always asks.

On the same night, I performed at the Sowetan / Snowflake Bridal Couple of the Year 2005/06 which was also fun. In line with the spirit, I did only love poetry and got a mention in the Sowetan (newspaper) during the week. Oh, got a mention in the Sunday World (weekly paper that has tabloid section) but they, at least, didn't give my name.

The Y FM June 16 celebration I posted about previously got the full brunt of the Shwashwi, which is the tabloid section of the paper. They felt that the event opened up with dreary, depressing poets and since there were only two poets, I guess I now qualify as dreary & depressing. It's funny to be rated by journalists who focus on the lives on what are called 'celebrities'. Obviously doesn't hold the same weight as the thoughts of Don Mattera or Nadine Gordimer, so will try not be too depressed. Actually, considering my mind state over the last year, it was probably relatively accurate. Ah, the joys of being recognised.

This weekend, I head home to Lesotho so the results of my daily writing sessions (posted on Imperfect Poetry) will probably be very irregular until Sunday. Won't have phone signal, so can't use my Blackberry & it's a mission to organise to get to email.

In a way, it will be nice to be unreachable for a few days. Keep on procrastinating on getting my cellular service unbarred for international roaming and I suspect that it is because home is the one place where I am run away from big city madness.

That's it. Easy

Kojo @ Xarra Books & other ramblings

I seem to be struggling with words so:

Xarra Books present the poetry of Kojo on Saturday, 24 June at 15:00.

I will be sharing my writing from my collections 'Voices In My Head' and 'And They Say Black Men Don't Write Love Poetry'. May even do some edited stuff from my Imperfect Poetry Blog - have started re-working pieces from that space.

There will be a Q & A and I will try sound intelligent and coherent.

The whole getting up on stage in front of people has taken on a new life. My self-enforced hibernation has created a new fascination with that act - feels kind of new. We'll see whether that is a good or bad thing.

Anyone out there willing to fund a few poets from this side of the world to perform at events out there in the big bad world? If yes, holla. SA, and Africa, have been hiding creativity for too long. Busy sending out packs to international festival and poetry event organisers. They say the world is a global village and I am getting tired of seeing wonderful poets, writers, people languishing in the depression of inertia.

Okay, that's it from me for today. Not even sure I made any sense. Easy

More irrelevant conversation

Another mildly eventful weekend. Friday was a public holiday in South Africa, Youth Day, which is to honour a significant moment in this country's history, namely the anniversary of the bloodiest days and the symbolic start of the June student uprisings. Sadly, like so many public holidays, it has become more about a day off and an extra day to party.

I spent Thursday nite at a Y Fm function to acknowledge the strides the youth have made in bringing about the widely covered and dramatically positive turn-around in SA. For those of you who do not know, Y FM is the main regional radio station in SA, covering the Gauteng province with Johannesburg as its heart. Y Fm is also at the heart of a lot of entertainment and youth-inspired events, concerts, etc in the region and its DJs have been at the forefront of music development and celebration in the country. Anyway, I was invited to perform to open the event, setting the stage for speeches by the Station Manager and performances by Tuks and Bricks, and DJs, including Monde. Not my usual audience and it was strange standing before a group of people who were more interested in getting their party on. I did have to compete with the bar a bit but it went down quite well, I think. I am always open to stepping out into new spaces and this definitely felt like a new space so the journey continues. Who knows, maybe I get to feature on the Y Fm website.

It's a funny world. The theory is that increased profile means increase in gigs, but the profile continues to grow with the gigs only trickling in. 2006 has been one of my quietest years and I am hoping it ends with an explosion. I could do with the good news. The future looks bright but it is today I am trying to deal with. The beat goes on.

There is a small show happening at Horror Cafe tomorrow evening at around 6 but I think it is a private event being organised by Myesha Jenkins. Building up towards next week Saturday at Xarra Books though I still do not know what I am going to be doing. You want to find out more about the store, see www.xarrabooks.com.

It's 1am and tomorrow is a long day. Moto GP and the World Cup continues (yeah, I'm a professional sport junkie) and still have to fit in actually interracting with people. Once again, I blabber unnecessarily. Easy

Words too can take up space

Another day, another post. Don't know if anyone has noticed, but this becoming a regular occurence. My lengthy moments of silence are getting shortened.

With the birth of my poetry blog, http://imperfectpoetry.blogspot.com, this space has become one of confusion, namely what is the purpose of my regular blog. Like so many things in my life these days, there is no answer and so I flow with it, stumbling through irrelevant thoughts in the hope that there is someone out there who finds some form of relevance in these ramblings. I have learned to write without saying anything in particular, thereby filling available space.

I am a writer and I am a poet. I am really starting to believe that again and so I shall write until I have something to say. Sometimes the power of language is being able to use it for its joy, rather for the desire to actually say anything.

I ramble as usual. There is an error in one of my last posts, namely my performance at Xarra Books will take place on June 24th as opposed to this coming weekend, as previously stated. If you are in the Joburg area, please do come out and support. I am told there will be one or two poets to set the stage for my attempt at being deep so, even if it is for that, come out.

In terms of further 'performances', the calls are starting to increase so something should stick and I will probably become a lot more visible. In my own weird way, I have been in hibernation, seeking inspiration and enthusiasm. For those of you who read my words regularly, you will know of the mental blocks I have been battling to break through.

Anyway, I will try to keep all updated on whatever I hear about in terms of shows and the like, as well as where I shall be.

Enough irrelevant rambling. In the middle of the Germany versus Poland game and getting frustrated as ........ See my poetry blog for results of watching this game. I am obviously supporting Germany and Ghana in the World Cup, though I am realistic in my expectations. Okay, that's it. Till whenever. Easy

Move aside dorothy, this rabbit-hole is mine

Every day I get more and more excited about the Word, yet I seem to step further and further away from being able to actually write anything. I have deadlines for all the things I seek to do, but these seem to pass without much fanfare.

I started the year off with a plan. A plan that was about evolving as a writer and performer. A plan that involved the exploration of all possible avenues available to ensure the growth of Word, in particular, my Word. This plan has been implemented purely in my head and now I seek the inspiration to somehow manifest it in the physical world. I am tired of living in my head but struggle to find the way out of the cranial rabbit-hole.

I see the path to the light, but constantly close the curtains to avoid being reminded of how much I have thought and how little I have done. I seek the spark, epiphany, the proverbial moment of clarity. I feel like a weed head, forever stuck in theory. If only I could clone myself and assign implementation to my twin, thereby allowing myself to comfortably wallow in ideas. It's all very absurd, this I know, but we are allowed dreams. These are our sole possessions in life. Our bodies can be bought and sold, our minds can molded and directed, but our dreams are rivers of smoke that continue to exist even when the naked eye cannot see them.

There's the answer. I shall continue to dream. I shall continue to dream of climbing poetry's everest and I shall continue to dream of fulfilling dreams. That way I succeed, regardless of the outcome :-)

Blah, blah, blah ..... I ramble

This is such a weird space.

Every day I convince myself that poetry holds no future for me, beyond merely an expression of passion, and nearly every day something happens that creates doubt as to whether I should flee the Word without looking back once or keep on keeping on.

Often, I feel constrained by the borders of my small world, truly believing that there is more to this and that I have more to offer to a wider space. It is the inability to break beyond the bars of this self-infliced cage that frustrates me, has me questioning, has me disillusioned. Am I silly to believe that one can build a career as a poet? Am I wishful to think that I can establish myself as a poet? Is there a future in being a poet? Do I have what it takes? Is my work worth it? Do I have potential to grow, evolve and establish a legacy?

Ah, the questions.

I wonder whether I blog to expand my reach as a brand or to express and share with my fellow beings. All I ever seem to do in this space is question.

Ah, the questions.

Anyway, my poetic journey continues. Next week Saturday at Xarra Books in Newtown, Joburg, I shall be performing a selection of my poetry. Every weekend (almost), they feature a poet, provide an opportunity for the audience to ask questions, and have the poet shares their thoughts on whatever.

As to what I will talk about, share or even offer to whatever humble audience may arrive is as unknown to me as it is to you. I have reached a point where I find comfort in entering a 'poetic' space without a plan. Without intention other than sharing. At some stage I became a 'performance poet', meaning I spend weeks on end memorising poems, agonising about the writing, worrying that the audience won't feel me, etc, etc.

Now I work with what I have. I work off the page when I don't remember the words. I am finding a new respect for Words on a page and I am humbled when it is my Words I speak. Sometimes I speak other people's Words because, at that moment, they are more appropriate than mine. When I am in a space of sharing, I do just that. I do not 'perform', I am not a 'spoken word artist' or a 'performance poet'. I am just another human being defined as poet.

There are moments when I 'perform' and I am a 'spoken word artist'. That is when someone is paying me to be one. That is when someone seeks a novelty and I provide. That is when I am playing a part and I am no longer, for that moment, Kojo, but rather 'Kojo the Poet'. I am learning to be comfortable with that. I am learning that, as a human being, I deserve to be as comfortable and as happy as the next person. To dream of perfection as an artist does not imply a comfort with poverty or suffering.

Damn, that is a long post. Typing on my Blackberry, while convenient and easily done, does make it harder to truly speak. This is a moment of unhindered verbal vomit. See my other blog: http://imperfectpoetry.blogspot.com. Today I seem to be caught up in moments.

Who am I?

We spend a lifetime dreaming of what we want to be and do and how we want to live. A doctor or lawyer goes through educational processes that enable them to achieve career dreams. They study hard, become 'professionals' and, through their work, are able to achieve their personal ambitions and desires, whether it is to start a family, become a partner, have their own practice, or whatever. While the career consumes them, who they are as a human being is defined not merely by what they do for a living but also other aspects, ie. their hobbies, their character, etc.

As an artist, it doesn't always seem like it is a liberty we have. Our art defines us as human beings. As a poet, I write about the essence of me and, therefore, am defined by what I write. Don't know if it makes sense but just my thoughts. Sometimes I actually believe I am more than just a poet and writer, but those thoughts are fleeting. Always seems like, without poetry, I am nothing or no-one. Often I wish for the liberty of just being a human being who can come home from work and, when possible, can leave career behind. But poetry stays with me, when eating, sleeping, making love, sitting on the toilet, etc. It is in my pores, in the strands of my hair, on the tip of my tongue, everywhere.

I cannot run from it even though I wish I could. I cannot give up coz even when I am not pursuing a future in poetry, I still write, sometimes with glee, sometimes with reluctance and sometimes painfully.

Just reaching out. Just speaking out.

Late night sermon

They say there is no rest for the sinners and so, here I sit, at something to one in the morning, presuming that writing these words is of enough importance to justify them, when I should be sleeping. Every day I promise myself that I shall sleep at a godly hour and every day I fail to fulfil that promise. I love the night. The darkness. The silence (well, as silent as it can get in a city like Johannesburg). But society is so gung-ho about being functional from 8 to 5 that I constantly find myself out of synch and unsettled, rushing to deal with daily realities when I'd rather be sleeping, and forcing myself into bed when I'd rather be awake. And I've been that way my whole life.

Anyway, just wanted to share a bit of my evening today (well, now yesterday). Oh, please let me first apologise for my posts taking forever to show, will try figure that out - received a comment from someone who says they are only becoming visible days after I've posted. I will try post a bit further in advance, particularly around events coming up.

This evening I was blessed enough to be invited to participate in a broadcast by BBC's "World Have Your Say" in collaboration with Y FM. Imagine about 40 people (primarily youth) representing a cross section of society discussing issues that we, and listeners, felt were pertinent to the progression of this country. It was hard to get a word in but it was a fascinating journey into the heart of some of the more important social ills and stars. We delved into xenophobia, youth development, politics, etc and also had the opportunity to share in the thoughts of callers from around the world, as the show was broadcast on Y FM and BBC. Radio and TV shows are always difficult spaces to debate and share views due to the time and structure limits but every little bit helps. I also believe stuff around the discussion will be on the BBC and Y fm sites, namely www.bbcnews.com/worldhaveyoursay and www.yfm.co.za. There is not enough room to go into all the views expressed and my mind is racing, but my conclusion to the whole thing is that, in some form, the youth of the world need to 'wake up and step up'. Today I was surrounded by people who are taking responsibility and people who continue to point and expect government, their elders, God, etc to solve their problems. Time Magazine did a feature on the youth in Italy, the youth in France have been rioting, etc and it just seems like we are constantly looking to others to solve our problems. The only people who can do that is ourselves. We continue to stand on the outside and gripe, while others are finding ways to bring change. I have no complete answers but this experience has forced me to question my own contribution to the development of mankind.

We get so caught up in the differences between us, we forget how much each of us has in common. Whether black, white, green, purple, the youth throughout the world are grappling with similar problems. And we continue to wait and whine rather than getting off our butts and trying to do something, however big, or small. It is said that "once bitten, twice shy" but as a species we never seem to learn this lesson. Everyone is caught up in their little island. Just thoughts. It scares me sometimes. There is so much work to be done and the day we stop talking (yeah, and look at me blogging away .... Blah, blah) and actually start doing, there will truly be a future. I give praise to everyone who has stood up for a cause that they feel strongly about. Let's just remember that the potential for extinction is not impossible with the levels of creativity involved in dividing and destroying each other. I'm starting to sound preachy but I do belive posivity starts with one person and each of us does have the potential to create true change. Whew. Let me sleep. Easy

Moments

I try to, as much as possible, use sunday evenings to introspect on the previous week and prepare my mind for the week to come. This evening the thoughts have some optimism to them, which is a refreshing change from the general stress and confusion I often find myself bogged down by. The highlight of my week was performing in the presence of President Mbeki, the President of South Africa, and an interesting mix of people from different parts of society, at the Gordon Institute of Business Science. A lot more nervous than usual, it ended up being an awesome experience with positive feedback from the President and the people there. It reminded me why I probably won't ever be able to stop. My words are always personal and when someone shares what they feel from your words with you, it is a fulfilling moment. It is not about the external, physical or outward but rather about being able to connect with another human being on a soul level.

It was also awesome to listen to the President talk and answer questions from the audience in a relaxed setting. There were some high school students in attendance from various schools around Joburg who are part of a programme at GIBS called Spirit of Youth and, to hear them talk and to listen to the questions they asked was tap into the hope that our future, while possibly difficult, will be brighter. It humbled me.

All of this goes a long way to understanding the true nature of what it is I do. The rewards of the Word go far beyond the commercial in this world of brands. As a brand, 'kojo the poet' has things he wants to achieve but those will be nothing unless coupled with the understanding that there is an element of pure human interaction and sharing that cannot be fulfilled if the Word is approached with blinders on. Reality demands its slice of flesh and so does the spirit. The challenge is to give those willingly while ensuring that there remains enough to keep on going. Easy#
Blog: http://infinitepursuit.blogspot.com
Poetry:
www.artistswithoutfrontiers.com (Writer's Section)
http://othervoicespoetry.org/vol8/baffoe/index.html